Micah Bauman, 2016

Word Fountain

My House
Micah Bauman

my house
is slowly leaving me
piece by piece
it departs

I’ll have nowhere
to live
to sleep
my house is slowly leaving me

the wall left
It desired some time alone
the ceiling left
It reached an all-time low
the floor left
It couldn’t handle the pressure anymore
the door left
In search of greater opportunities
the roof left
it didn’t like the stormy weather
the window left
it yearned to see the world

the stairs
they come and go
can never make up their mind

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Quick Update


Hello, it’s been a while since I’ve written anything on this blog. I’ve had some writers block lately (I know,  “writers block is just an excuse bla blah”).  This post is just to let you know i am still alive and I will be back to writing on this blog soonish. Also, Hi Mom. That’s about all I feel the need to say for now. I’ll see you in the future (that’s right I’m a time traveler). Have a nice day.

Six Puns Day Nine Hundred Twenty Two: Licorice


“A message was sent to the Prime Minister’s suite, so that leaves us no choice but to root around the lobby,” said the Admiral. “we must not wake her staff, for they will become our most bitter enemies.”

Six Puns: Well, that’s enough puns being manufactured by hand…back to the plant. 

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Favorite Poems

A Noiseless Patient Spider


A noiseless patient spider,
I mark’d where on a little promontory it stood isolated,
Mark’d how to explore the vacant vast surrounding,
It launch’d forth filament, filament, filament, out of itself,
Ever unreeling them, ever tirelessly speeding them.
And you O my soul where you stand,
Surrounded, detached, in measureless oceans of space,
Ceaselessly musing, venturing, throwing, seeking the spheres to connect them,
Till the bridge you will need be form’d, till the ductile anchor hold,
Till the gossamer thread you fling catch somewhere, O my soul.

Time For Texas To Be Removed From The U.S.

The Arm Chair Pontificator

Texas In Space And Free Of Liberals At Last Texas In Space And Free Of Liberals At Last

Like a date who keeps sticking her tongue in your mouth while you’re trying to watch a movie, it is time Texas be asked to go sit on another couch. Really, enough already. Our ancestors didn’t come out of a fucking cave to eventually be forced back into one. If Texas were gone, it would not only be better for the rest of America, but for it as well. Texas would be free of pesky-ass, liberal assholes like me who think the death penalty is wrong, women actually have a right to their own bodies, and guns need to be banned. They could lock chastity devices on women, make everyone go to church, the RIGHT church of course, and they could freely kill any person they deemed was evil or wearing a hoodie. And I have come up with a great…

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