A Poem and A Review

Okay, I’m killing two birds with one stone here. I’m going to post a review and an original poem by yours almost truly. What kind of birds are we killing? Think of your favorite kind. That’s the kind we’re killing tonight.

As many others have done, I plan to give a review of the poetry reading I attended at Penn State of the greatest gay poet in America, Richard Blanco (sorry Dad, but you’ve never read for the president). I’ll have to keep this review short because I have others things to work on. The inaugural poem was interesting and good, but far from the best I’d heard that night. I enjoyed the poem called Looking for The Gulf Motel. My father cried during that one. The most interesting things about that poem was a line in which he stated that he wanted to pretend nothing lost was lost. I don’t know if Richard realized it (he probably did), but I believe that he spent the entire poem doing precisely that. “Mother Picking Produce” was among my favorites of the night. Blanco’s style and approach is very similar to that of my father’s (simultaneously a good and bad thing). The difference is that David J Bauman does not speak Spanish (usually) and does not read at inauguration ceremonies. Visit Richard’s website for more. One could argue that Richard was chosen merely for reasons of diversity. I would tell that person to shut up. I haven’t gotten a chance to flip through an entire book of his yet, but I like what I’ve read so far. I recommend it.

Okay, without further ado, here’s a poem by ME, Micah Bauman. I hope you like it. You’re free to hate it. But, you’d be wrong for doing so. This one is about a fictional ancient race of people who worshiped crosswalks. I call them pedestrians. Does that make any sense? Have I lost my mind?

The Pedestrians

There was once an ancient race of people
who worshiped the crosswalk
they talked and they laughed

sermons were spoken on the sidewalk
not of moving mountains of course
or replanting trees in seas
where they certainly don’t belong
they dared not terraform the Earth
(with their faith)
they dared not assess its worth
before selling it back to the Gods
who had no use for it anyway

There was once an ancient race of people
who worshiped the crosswalk
they talked and they laughed
and they crossed the street.

Advertisements

Osmosis

NOTE: I’d like to provide commentary on this poem at some point, but am too busy and tired at this present moment (wait, can there be an un-present moment? I don’t know… I need sleep) .

did i run away?

I left the altar

because my life wasn’t rearranging

(at least not there)

I tore down all

my old photos

because they needed changing

I shouldn’t generalize

but, it’s funny the way things seem to travel

every place that i unravel

 

The Final Draft?

Okay, so now I need to go back and look at that poem and see if I want to make any last minute changes. I also adjust the wording a little bit because wording really does matter to some extent (at least that’s how I feel). Maybe I’ll add that punctuation that I am oft too lazy to add. This has been a look at my “fascinating” editing process and I suppose that’s all I have to say for the time being. I can’t say this particular poem would ever win any awards. It’s not spectacular. But (as “always“) it’s pretty great. So, do your self a favor and enjoy it.

As my alarm clock rings,

i am not the least bit alarmed

but am I ready to leap out of bed?

should i leave my comfy bed-

in which i lie or should i come clean?

i scrape the crust from my eyes

liberate my body from my

seemingly sometimes suffocating sheets

or shall i stumble around

with friends or foes

Should I leave this house to scorn among streetlights

to see sights unable to be unseen

stare into the face of public indecency

experience the ear shattering cries of infancy

unsightly pedestrians

or would i run all the way (half way) back

home: to live, laugh, love, or lust

shall I simply stay in bed

and stare at the ceiling

marvel at the stains and wonder

how did they get there?

something to do with a light switch…?

I could sit inert and ensconced

upon this mattress in all its fortitude

or the world outside could wait…

Okay. So, that’s the end of that unless it isn’t for some reason. Ummmm… Maybe I’ll do one more draft. Thinking of making it longer I am. No. That’s it. I’m done. It’s time to move on. Goodbye.

A quick and breezy draft

Okay so here’s a second draft of that poem. I think I may post a few more as you will obviously be enthralled by my spectacular editing process. If that is not the case, go away I don’t want you here. Just a note: I know there are spaces between each line that shouldn’t be there. I don’t feel like fixing it right now.

As my alarm clock rings

not surprising me in the least

am I ready to leap out of bed?

should i leave my warm bed

on which i lie or should i come clean

i scrape the crust from my eyes

liberate my body from my

seemingly sometimes suffocating sheets

but should I go somewhere

with friends or with enemies…

Should I leave this house to scorn

to see sights unseeable

stare into the face of public indecency

experience the ear shattering cries of infancy

unsightly pedestrians

or would i run all the way (half way) back

home: to live, laugh, love, or lust

shall I simply stay in bed

and stare at the ceiling

marvel at the stains and wonder

how did they get there?

something to do with a light switch…?

I’m not sure.

I could sit inert and ensconced

upon this mattress in all its fortitude

or the world outside could just wait.

Oh, and I would like to wish a happy birthday to the Dadpoet. In fact I don’t just wish. I demand. I don’t care what sort of calamities happens during the last few hours of his birthday. He’s going to go to bed with a smile… even if it’s forced (*wink).

Mad Thoughts 3

So…finally…the moment I’ve kept you  (specifically you) waiting for. Umm… Yeah, I’ve been tired. I barely did the internet at all yesterday. But here’s something. I recorded it today. So, yeah. This is all you get. Enjoy.

I couldn’t quite figure out a great way to deliver the last line in a way I’d like, but I think you’ll get the point.

I haven’t posted anything yet. I have thought about much of anything yet. I want to put up a video tomorrow, okay? The metaphorical thread of thought I’m running is even thinner than the ozone layer, but I’m gonna tell you what I’m thinking anyway. Scientists have recently implanted false memories into mice. Does that mean everything you know is wrong? No. It does not. But you’re still wrong. Anyway, that’s all I got…at least for now.

Homemade Philosopher

philosophy:
“only one thing is certain
but i’m not entirely sure what it is”
so I sit in my bed and get lost in my head
so, they say I’m a philosopher because i accidentally thought about life once
as i stepped on a nail that somehow mysteriously fell out of the woodwork
i screamed at the top of my lungs
and thought the nails situation eerily similar to mine
If you would claim i’m over thinking things
i would uncertainly agree
you might even go as far to call me slightly crazy
but I placed a bandage upon my foot (comparing it to you)
so it covered up the hole in my sole
and i wondered as i wandered off to sleep

And that’s today’s poem. By the way I changed my mind at last-minute. I do apologize. Feel free to leave a comment complaining about it but I’m just gonna delete it. (#insidejoke #wordpressdoesntsupporthashtags #hashtagsowhyamidoingthis) . No, seriously. Sorry about that. I don’t know where I’ve been. Actually, I do. But, anyway…ummmmmm…

Worth Your While

Whew! So I’ve been recovering this past couple of days. Apparently I had some sort of issue with my digestive system. Holy freaking actual crap. It sucked. But now I’m back to blog and I’m gonna blog to my heart’s content for chrissake because why else would I have a blog if I wasn’t going to mash letters into my keyboard and blog like hell. No one can stop me from blogging, not even the government. I don’t know if they read if they read my blog, but they might be reading my emails. So go ahead send me an email about how amazing this blog is. If they want to get between our intimate relationship, they’ll have to pry this laptop from my cold dead hands. I don’t care how much military force they may have. They might have helicopters, but I have a blog. They can’t stop me.

I don’t know what I’m doing now. I sprained my ankle last week. There’s thunderstorm outside now and I haven’t done anything productive in years. I need to take my SATs at point. I need to do some sort of community service so I can graduate. But now I’m sitting inside on my laptop and my mother is visiting the emergency room because I don’t know she’s sick or something. Now, we are going to share this wondrous bonding moment even if you are a stranger from across the world.  I promise you it will be worth your while. In fact I’m going to improvise a poem right now called Worth Your While

Dear, come with me
I have something to show you
all admission costs is your one
solitary while
that you earned back in junior high
the only while you’ll ever have
but i promise the most amazing
experience you’ll ever have
you’ve only got one while
i know you
don’t want to waste it
this time though i assure you
it’s worth your while

That’s just off the top of my head. I don’t know if it’s any good yet. I haven’t looked over it. But as anything I write, I’m sure it’s top quality you can only get at monkeyprodigy.wordpress.com. Check that site out some time, will ya?  Thank you. Hears to hoping this post was Worth Your While.

  • Hello Blog (rebeccareddin.wordpress.com) – Enter: Rebecca Reddin. That sounds wrong , but I like people who make blogs. They’re cool people…sometimes.

How to win people over in five easy steps

A few grammatical mistakes here and there, but I find that this is pretty good advice.

Cartopia

Every wonder how to win people over and get them to do what you want, whether it’s a business proposal, an opinion, or gathering friends to hang out and get smashed? Well, I’ve compiled this handy list, so you too can be influential and get what you want!

  1. Be insistent, by which I mean whine. Constantly go up to people and say things like “Come on man,” and “Pleeeeeaaaaaassssseeee?” It’ll wear them down after a while and they’ll be willing to do anything to get you off their back.
  2. Lie. Sometimes your position isn’t quite as solid as you’d like it to be or your get rich quick scheme is a little riskier than you’d like others to know. The only way to get around this hurdle is to make things up. If someone asks you if your idea to invent heated underwear has any risks, don’t tell them about…

View original post 334 more words

1 Year Later

It has just come to my attention that WordPress.com has informed me that it’s been an entire year since I’ve begun blogging at WordPress.com. You know, I’m glad to be here. A lot of things have changed since I’ve begun. For one thing I have a lot more posts up now. Also I’m a year older now. I got a haircut. I’ve now got a few followers that worship me or maybe they just read the posts. I don’t really know. Hmm… One year ago I made a post about the mission a writer, which undoubtedly is to brainwash you via subliminal messaging. I don’t really know what else to say. So, without further ado, enjoy this exclusive lazily produced video. Lazily written read by yours truly. You won’t find this sort of crud anywhere else. Unless of course, you do for some reason. Oh, and don’t worry we probably won’t get struck with an asteroid anytime soon. I’m trying to prove a point. I am answering the age-old question: Nature or Nurture? Lets see how I did. 

Critics say:

“I like it” and “It’s okay.”. and sometimes even “it’s great”.

Personally I didn’t watch it. But I’m sure it’s amazing.

%d bloggers like this: