The Final Draft?

Okay, so now I need to go back and look at that poem and see if I want to make any last minute changes. I also adjust the wording a little bit because wording really does matter to some extent (at least that’s how I feel). Maybe I’ll add that punctuation that I am oft too lazy to add. This has been a look at my “fascinating” editing process and I suppose that’s all I have to say for the time being. I can’t say this particular poem would ever win any awards. It’s not spectacular. But (as “always“) it’s pretty great. So, do your self a favor and enjoy it.

As my alarm clock rings,

i am not the least bit alarmed

but am I ready to leap out of bed?

should i leave my comfy bed-

in which i lie or should i come clean?

i scrape the crust from my eyes

liberate my body from my

seemingly sometimes suffocating sheets

or shall i stumble around

with friends or foes

Should I leave this house to scorn among streetlights

to see sights unable to be unseen

stare into the face of public indecency

experience the ear shattering cries of infancy

unsightly pedestrians

or would i run all the way (half way) back

home: to live, laugh, love, or lust

shall I simply stay in bed

and stare at the ceiling

marvel at the stains and wonder

how did they get there?

something to do with a light switch…?

I could sit inert and ensconced

upon this mattress in all its fortitude

or the world outside could wait…

Okay. So, that’s the end of that unless it isn’t for some reason. Ummmm… Maybe I’ll do one more draft. Thinking of making it longer I am. No. That’s it. I’m done. It’s time to move on. Goodbye.


4 thoughts on “The Final Draft?”

  1. I think you sell yourself short … it’s more that “pretty great”… I think you need to add a couple more of the ‘pretty’…. three or four of them at least….

  2. Coming back to this all this time later, I do like this draft better. It happens to me too, when a big part of my editing is stopping it where it really stops. So often in my early drafts I keep rambling on after the poem has already stopped itself.

    I do admit though the message above your first draft was a complete joy to read again tonight. Thanks gain for those delightful and kind birthday wishes, even this far out.

    As always, I love you, and I’m proud of you.

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