Celebrate Your Independence?

According to the internet it’s a wonderful day for fireworks. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Are you there? Are you aware tomorrow is American Independence Day? Do you care?  Am I asking too many questions? Questions are annoying. Aren’t they? It’s these very questions that are threatening our Independence. Luckily I’m not here to ask questions. I have all the answers. I will ask of you no questions as you exercise your very important right to great blog posts. Soon we will be celebrating with wonderful booming fireworks. You want some? You’ll have to buy your own.

That’s how Independence works. That will be nine bucks. Take it or leave it.

You see, when you’re a writer it’s always best to give someone all the answers. You shouldn’t have to think hard about anything! It’s a holiday. Luckily for you I’m here. And thanks to this nation’s wonderful forefathers, who seem to keep making more and more babies, we have this wonderful place called the internet to come together and be completely dependent on it. What is independence without a little dependence, eh? No need to go to the library. Unless you wanna pick me up a movie there. Do ya? The internet is a wonderful thing. If only our forefathers could see how grown and independent we all are. It’s a wonderful thing.

I’ll be back. Don’t worry. If you have any questions, don’t ask me. You can do it. You’re independent.

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